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There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet. |
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Ginny Potter - A Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive and Community -- Fictioneer | |
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Title: Detention with Potter | Submit a Review
ginger_potter103: Its sweet 2007-06-21 00:49:08
croshanks: I was not expecting Magonagall to do that. The other Marauders put her up to this. 2007-06-07 23:30:35
neypuslover: Fine. I will fix it. 2007-06-07 03:44:20
neypuslover: I could care less. First: I don't know how to delete a story and 2 I don't want to. And I want McGongall to loosen up a bit. 3 U heard what Kimi said. Your sugestions are helpful but next time give it to someone else cause I don't type well. Or write well. Thx. 2007-06-06 22:13:29
Kimi: add more chapters cuz this is good and i like it 2007-06-06 16:36:03
RupertsPheonix: I think that this story has potential. My suggestions are: 1] Make it a longer fic. A few chapters would help the story seem less rushed. I felt like everything happened so quickly. James apologized a bit too soon, and Lily admitted her love for him a bit too soon, too. 2] Keep McGonagall in character. She could grumble, "I said no funny business, but it is about time." It'd just make her a more-believable character. 3] Try to use more descriptions. Lily gasps a lot, so maybe make her "furrow her brow," or "widen her eyes in shock." Let us see what she's thinking or feeling by your description of her. I hope these suggestions help! =) --RP 2007-06-05 09:15:37
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