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| There isn't a Biggest Story for Today, yet. |
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| Ginny Potter - A Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive and Community -- Fictioneer | |
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Title: The Year Alone | Submit a Review
gp1: this story is really good so dont think your a bad writer if people didnt want to read it they wouldnt i know that i like it. you only have minor spelling and puctation errors....
-gp1 2010-12-19 16:40:01
gp1: there is some parts where you have a guy talking but you say her or she and vice-versa oh and sometimes the story is hard to follow otherwise it eez perfect :) 2010-12-19 04:50:15
thecoolestone: Its very good plz continue your good work 2010-05-04 07:58:00
ArianaRae: Your story has potential, and I like the new character you've given Gabrielle. However, there are some problems that I saw from reading the first chapter and some of the second.
1) Your grammar has errors. These are mostly pronoun-antecedent agreement and tense problems. You rarely use " 's " to show possession.
i.e. "Bill went up to her mother." Also, there/their was messed up a couple times, quite/quiet was normally misused, and you should review articles and minor words. This can easily be fixed with a beta.
2) Your sentences are almost all simple. Using compund and complex sentences really adds to a story's quality, both grammatically and aesthetically. Again, a beta can fix this.
3) When writing as though the character is reading something, like the article, you should seperate it from other text using lines. On ff.net, you'd italicize, but the format here is limited to hardly anything style-wise, so it's your best bet.
(-----------------------)
4) Watch your language a bit more closely. This site is intended for all ages, so occasional mild swearing is fine, but nothing beyond that.
Good luck on the rest of your story!
2010-05-03 19:01:52
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