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Ginny Potter - A Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive and Community -- Fictioneer
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HP stories following Canon but PRE-OotP >> Occupy by happy_kid

Simple Text - To view MORE chapters use the chapter jump box to the right.
Lord Voldemort was lonely. It wasn't the first time either. In fact, Voldemort felt that he needed someone to brighten up the dreary room that he currently resided in.

His bright red eyes searched the room intently for a moment. The ceiling dripped water and the walls were in badly in need of repairing. Spiderwebs coated the walls and dust was thick on the ground. He sighed. There was nothing for him to play with.

"Wormtail," Voldemort said, flicking uninterestedly at a fleck of dust. "Come here." A small, watery-eyed stooped man came shuffling towards him.

"On your knees." The man did so.

Voldemort went on. "I need something to occupy me. Something..."He thought for a moment. "Something that would keep me occupied, would last for days and would be always interesting to me. For days if need to be."

Wormtail flinched but didn't answer. "I heard of somekind of toy," Voldemort said, "and the ads say that it would keep me...occupied." His serpent-like tongue slithered over the last word and he smacked his lips. He decided that he liked the word.

"Well?" asked Voldemort, while repeating the word, 'occupied,' over and over in his head.

"M-master," Wormtail ventured in a squeak. "You surely-possibly-d-don't mean that-that...new Bratz toy?"

"No!" cried Voldemort impatiently. "I need a Barbie doll, you stupid lump!"

Wormtail seemed to decide that he master was mad. Mad as a madman could be.

"A Barbie d-doll, master?" asked Wormtail. "N-not a rubber duckie? L-like the one that you wanted for your birthday?"

"No!" Voldemort shouted, a serpentine-like anger rearing in him. "JUST-GET-ME-A-DARN-BARBIE-DOLL! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, BRING ME A WIG TOO! HAVE YOU NOT NOTICE THAT I'M BALD! HOW CAN A WIZARD BE EVIL WHEN HE'S BALD!"

"Okay, okay," whimpered Wormtail, cowering while thinking that his master was defnintely, possibly mad.

"Then, go," Voldemort said, already anctipating his doll and wig. Wormtail backed away and dissapeared through the door.

The doll would be Miss Evil Snapsocks, thought Voldy, and the duck might as well be Mr Cuddly Softkins.

The room was getting chilly so Voldemort pulled on his warm, furry pink slippers and settled down in his throne.

Occupy, occupy, occupy, occupy...

The word was starting to annoy him.

Occupy, occupy, occupy, occupy....

It was starting a pounding in his head.

Occupy, occupy, occupy-

"OI!" bellowed Voldemort, finally having enough. "YOu-Occupy-get out of my head at once!"

Occupy, occupy, occupy, occupy....

Voldemort grabbed his head and bellowed in anger.

Then, grabbing his wand, he shouted, "You'd pay for this, Occupy! Avada Kedavra!"

The green light streaked out and hit Voldemort squarely in the head. His cry of triumph mingled with a girlyish scream of terror.

Lord Voldemort crumpled to the floor, his wand dropping on the floor with a clang.

Silence.

CRACK.

"Master!" shouted Wormtail. "Master! Got your-oh."

He stared at the body.

"Ah, well." He placed the wig on Voldemort's head(a long, curly wig)and propped him on the throne.

"One more thing-" Wormtail extracted a Barbie doll and curled Voly's cold hand around it.

And so, that was the end of Lord Voldemort. Died a Barbie's fan death.

The end.

Oh wait.

On the other side of the world,

an evil man named Occupy cackled evilly.

The end.

Really.

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