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HP stories following Canon but PRE-OotP >> Why do you hate me? by natural_ginger

Simple Text - To view MORE chapters use the chapter jump box to the right.
Disclaimer: It' JKs world ... blah, blah, ... wish I was rich like her you know the rest!
A/N This is my first fanfic. Please be as mean as you like. Honestly. If it sucks tell me! WARNING: There's a little language, hence the PG-13


Lily Evans took one last look at her family as she walked towards the barrier that separated the muggle and the magical world. Her mother and father beamed back at her, they were so proud of her. Her shiny new head girl badge gleamed back at them as did her glowing smile. Lily’ sister clearly did not feel the same way. She had made her feelings perfectly clear about how she felt about her ‘freak’ sister and she was already walking away from her, heading for the exit. Lily did not care; she was a close-minded, horse-faced fool.

Lily closed her eyes and entered the wall and felt the warmth spread through her as she passed through the barrier. Before she had chance to open her eyes she was enveloped in a hug by her best friend.

“Lily!” squealed Alice. She was a 7th year Gryffindor like Lily and always had a knack of catching Lily off guard with her hugs. “Congratulations, I knew that you would be head girl!”

Lily muffled a word of thanks into her friends shoulder as she was hugged again. Lily left Alice to say goodbye to her family and agreed to meet later on the train. She continued down the platform towards the Hogwarts express with people shouting, “hellos” and “congratulations” towards her. Lily beamed back at them.

Nothing could spoil her mood, well almost nothing. There he stood perfect James Potter, the bane of Lily Evans existence, with his back to her talking to his friends dubbed the Marauders. His head was hung and both Sirius and Remus had a hand on his shoulder with serious looks on their faces. Lily had been thinking about him a lot about him over the summer. How he had both amused and infuriated her over the past six years. The amusement had ended pretty quickly as in the last two years he had taken to asking her out every chance he got. At first she had tried to let him down gently when he declared his undying love for her but he had been too smug and self assured to take no for an answer and now she felt like he was slowly driving her insane. Sure he was good looking, handsome and talented but far too aware of it. She’d had a lot of time over the summer holidays to think about this subject and about Potter. He hexed any boy who showed any kind of interest in her and embarrassed her in front of the whole school by asking her out in front of them. Repeatedly! Well enough was enough; she was fed up and was going to let him know if he should attempt it again. He had been made head boy even though Lily could think of several boys who deserved it more. Sure he was smart and the Quidditch team captain but he was immature and revelled in others misfortune, especially Lily’s. He assumed that every girl would love to go out with him if he just flashed them his smile. To be fair Lily knew that this was probably true but his ego was still too large. He just didn’t seem to understand that Lily wasn’t part of his fan club.

“Please don’t see me!” she muttered under her breath. But it would seem that Lily’s luck wasn’t that great, his best friend Sirius Black had seen her and pointed her out to James Potter. He spun around quickly and smiled at her, although there was something different about him. It was not the smug, convinced smile he usually looked at her with but a smile of relief. He looked drawn and his eyes were bleary as though he hadn’t slept and his walk was different as his arms hung by his sides. Lily wondered why she noticed so many differences in him. Had she taken that much notice?

“Hi Evans” he said while intensely analyzing his shoes. “Congratulations on getting head girl, I knew you would.”

“Thanks Potter, well done on getting Head Boy.” Lily was confused; Potter was never uncomfortable, never nervous. A realization suddenly dawned on Lily he was going to ask her out again. Something snapped in Lily in that moment, she was not going to take this anymore. She wanted to enjoy her last year at Hogwarts without being constantly badgered by Potter. End this now!

James suddenly straightened up and smiled, a broad smile, more like his cocky self. “So err…. Lily, I was …. erm wondering if you … you know …want to …”

“No. I don’t.” Lily stated firmly.

“What?” James looked confused now. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask you!” He broke into a huge grin again. It almost seemed like he enjoyed arguing with her.

“Yes I do. It’s the same every time.” Lily growled. “I DON’T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU POTTER!” She punctuated each word with sharp prod into his chest.

That irritating smile remained. “That’s not what I was going to ask. Anyway, why not Lilykins?” He held back a snigger as Lily blushed. “I’m sure if you just gave me a chance you’d see-”

“NO!” Lily cut him off again, aware that she was now shouting and beginning to turn a few heads in the crowded platform. “I don’t want to go out with you so stop asking! How could you not understand that after two years!?”

“But Lily I really-” James began but Lily was no longer listening.

“NO! I don’t want to hear it.” By this time James looked like a rabbit in headlights. He knew she was mad. “You know what Potter you shouldn’t be allowed around civilised people. If you can’t control yourself then you should just stay at home with your parents!” James eyes glazed over and he had gone pale.

Knowing that she may have finally got through to him she turned and walked away. Ignoring the glares she was getting from a group of nearby girls that were listening. She heard a shout from behind her.

“You heartless bitch.” She recognised the voice as Sirius Black’s but she made no acknowledgement of hearing him. It looked to her like one of her rejections had finally landed. Lily’s mind wandered, maybe now Potter would leave her alone.

She made her way to the Prefects carriage without further incident and read in silence. After five minutes the train set off and after ten minutes the prefects began to pile into the carriage. Lily began to wonder where James was, not that she cared but he should be here as the head boy and all. When the mousey haired Remus arrived she made her way over to ask the 7th year Gryffindor prefect about his fellow ‘Marauder’s’ whereabouts. He looked to be having a serious conversation with Amelia Bones a sixth year Ravenclaw who had been one of those glaring at Lily on the platform. Lily couldn’t help but overhear the conversation as she scrambled towards him.

“So how is he?” Amelia asked with a concerned expression.

“He’s ok. Well as good as can be considering.” It was at this unfortunate moment that Remus saw Lily.

“Hi Remus.” Lily said. “Did you have a good summer? Where’s Potter? He’s not still crying because I said no is he?!” Lily laughed but instantly realised that this was a mistake. Remus looked furious and was opening his mouth to yell when he was pulled away by an irate and flustered looking Amelia.

Lily didn’t understand it she was good friends with Remus and they often studied together, why was he so angry with her? What had she done to James to make him so apoplectic? Lily did her best to continue with the prefects meeting. She made her greeting speech and handed out the patrol timetable to the prefects. It was very uncomfortable as Lily was well aware of the glares and mumbling that was happening behind her back. Lily concluded, “Ok, I think that’s everything, any questions?”

A silence filled the compartment until Angela Wraith the sixth year Gryffindor prefect raised her hand. “Yes, Angela”

“Well I was just wondering, as I’m sure everyone else is, as to why you were so mean to James?” Murmurs erupted amongst the other prefects and several shifted in their seats and leaned forward to hear Lily’s answer. Lily was understandably shocked as she was good friends with Angela. Why would she want to embarrass her like this?

“Well Angela,” Lily began in icy tones. “Not that it’s any of your business but I was fed up with him asking me out all the time. If that is all then we’ll meet again on the first Saturday in October at ten ‘o’ clock in the Transfiguration classroom.”

“That still doesn’t explain what you said to him Lily.” Amelia piped up. Several people who had begun to gather there possessions paused and settled down in their seats to watch the unfolding drama.

“What do you mean? I talk to him like that all the time. He never takes any notice anyway.” Lily was becoming confused, why did they care what she said to James? She had been telling James off since fourth year and it was no secret that she loathed James Potter with a passion.

“Don’t you think you crossed the line?” The anger in Remus’ voice was badly disguised as he growled what was more of an accusation than a question.

“No, Why?”

“WHY! What do you mean why! He’s been through enough without you taking cheap shots at him!” Remus’ glare burned into Lily’s face as he was stood up now and was the same height. The glare was returned with a look of utter confusion. Remus’ features softened and his eyes widened as a look of realisation dawned upon him. “Oh my god. You don’t know do you?” Several people gasped at this statement. Remus continued, “Ok everybody out. NOW!” The force of this statement meant that no-one argued.

Remus took Lily by the arm and watched the door until everybody had left.

“What on earth is going on? Why is everyone so upset with me?” Remus stared at her, sighed and urged her into a chair.

“Lily there is no easy way to say this but a week ago James’ parents were killed by Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.”

“What!” Everything suddenly became clear why James looked different and why everyone was so angry with her. Lily began to cry, “Oh Remus I was so horrible to him.” Remus put his arm around her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

After half an hour Lily had composed herself enough to talk to Remus. She was eager to go and apologise immediately to James but Remus told her that this was unwise and that he wasn’t speaking to anyone. He took her to meet Alice and the other girls in compartment towards the front of the train. Remus explained to the girls who immediately understood and he left them to return to the other Marauders. Being a muggleborn Lily didn’t hear any news from the magical world during the holidays except in brief notes from Alice who had note mentioned it. She apologised profusely but was quietened by Lily and the other girls who did not blame her in the slightest. Lily felt truly awful, how could James ever forgive her?

Lily and Alice walked into the Great Hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Lily didn’t eat and just sat in silence staring at her plate. Angela had come up to her and apologised and gave her a hug but again Lily had refused saying it was only a misunderstanding. Lily noticed that the Marauders were noticeably missing because their raucous laughter and mischief making usually echoed around the hall. Halfway through the welcome feast Sirius walked through the doors. He saw Lily and acknowledged her with a taut smile and a nod. He grabbed several rolls of bread and put them inside of robes, picked up a couple of plates and made for the exit. Professor McGonagall tried to stop him but he whispered something in her ear and she nodded and held the door open for him as he left the hall.

James was not in lessons the next day and only appeared fleetingly at meal times and treated Lily like she had the plague. ‘I deserve it’ she thought. That was what she didn’t stop thinking. It was three days before she attempted an apology but it was as much through necessity. James and Lily were supposed to go on patrol together tonight.

“James.” Lily had shouted down the corridor after Charms he had fled from the classroom upon seeing Lily approach him. Sirius had turned to stop her and held her back as James walked away.

“Leave him alone Lily, he doesn’t want to talk to you at the moment.” Sirius reasoned.

“But I need to talk to him about patrol tonight.”

“I’ll tell him but I can’t promise anything.” With that Sirius turned and chased after James who was by now long gone.

During Transfiguration later that day Sirius walked over to Lily and handed her a letter from James in his untidy scrawl of handwriting. She turned to look at him but found that he was determinedly avoiding her gaze. Lily had received letters from James before but they were nothing like this. The tone of the letter was cold Lily could feel it in the paper. It read:


I will meet you by the portrait hole at 11



A/N If you liked this story please go to:

I have the end of this story posted there and several other fics I've been working on, thanks for the reading!

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