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Ginny Potter - A Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive and Community -- Fictioneer
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HP stories following Canon after HBP >> Wandering Thoughts by ArianaRae

Simple Text - To view MORE chapters use the chapter jump box to the right.
Okay. This one's weird. It started out as the third chapter to "iPod Shuffle"(set to Jordin Spark's "Battlefield"), but by the time I had gotten halfway through, it had changed so much that it didn't fit anymore, so it's a seperate drabble now.

Disclaimer- Not mine.


I toss and turn. Surely it should be morning by now. I turn and give the clock a quick look. Two AM. I flop onto my back and huff. Ripoff.

But do I really want to go back to sleep? It's not like he'll come back, safe and never going to leave again, just because I have a reoccuring dream that he won't.

Oh, he'll come back. I know that much. And he'll come back alive, and for the most part, physically well.

But physically is the key word. Harry's been through more than the most seasoned Aurors have in their entire careers. I worry about his mental condition. Because if I don't, if I judge him on his outward appearance like it seemed everyone outside of my family and Hermionedo, then he'll fall right through the cracks without a second thought for himself.

He's been taught that, I know.

By the wretched Dursleys. And what people see as values, I know are insecurities.

He's not selfless, he's worthless.

He's not extraordinary, he's a freak.

He doesn't have a reason to live, he has a reason to die.

And that's only what Ron and Hermione and I see. The tip of the iceberg. Who knew what else Harry kept hidden?

He blames himself, you know. For everything. Cedric, Sirius, Moody, Dumbledore, his parents; everyone who's died in this war.

For the bloody war itself. Harry reckons that if he'd never been born, all this would never have happened.

It would have, but it would have been so much worse. He wouldn't be here to help us through. Because that's what he does.

Hermione, Ron, the twins, my parents, everyone... They're wonderful, but they aren't my noble-to-the-point-of-idiocy boyfriend. I love them all to pieces, but they aren't Harry.

Harry, who puts the needs of others, even those who tormented him daily, before his own.

Harry, who broke up with me because our relationship put me in danger, even though I already was.

Harry, who, with all his heart, deeply mistrusted authority, who had years of neglect and probable abuse as the reason why.

Harry, who I love with all my heart.

Harry, who I desperately hope returns those feelings.

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