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Ginny Potter - A Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive and Community -- Fictioneer
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HP stories following Canon but PRE-OotP >> Dude, We Gotta Get Snippit and Moldy! (AKA Snape and Malfoy) by hayhoo

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“Dude! What’s up!” yelled James.
“Dude, not much!” yelled Sirius back.
“Dude! You guys are driving me crazy!” yelled Rumus.
“Dude!...I don’t get this whole dude thing…yah.” Said Peter.
The four had just boarded the Hogwarts express and were getting ready for their first year at Hogwarts when a knock knock knock was heard on the door to their compartment.
“Come on in!” yelled James, hoping it was a pretty girl.
“Well well well, look what we have here!” said a boy with bright blonde hair and an evil look on his face.
“Look what the cat’s dragged in!” laughed another boy standing next to him, whose black hair was hanging in his face. His nose came to a point he was short and looked snide and rich. “Looks like a bunch of mudbloods to me. You had better stay away from us; WE are purebloods! I doubt any of you would make it into Slytherin House! Haha!”
“We love you too, Snippy!” said James cooly.
“The name is Snape.” Said the black haired boy.
“And I’m Malfoy.” Said the blonde. “That is Lucious Malfoy, but Mr. Malfoy to you!”
“Well, it was extremely nice talking to you, but Snipert, Moldy, I’m afraid we have some business to attend to.” With that, Sirius waved his wand and tried to close the door, but Malfoy stepped in the way.
“Who are YOU to call us that! Do you know who my father is? Do you even know who we are?!” he said disgusted.
“Well, I’m J Potter and this here is my homie, S Black, our brain, Lupy and our spy, Pgrew, but you can call us…wait…it won’t matter because we are programmed not to respond to idiots!” said James.
“Ooooo! Burn!” added Sirius.
“My father is Bandilus Malfoy, head of the department of Law at the ministry, and Snape’s and my family are 100% pureblood, influential, and powerful families. I hope you are happy, Potter, because as of now, you are on our bad side!” With that, the two stormed out.
“Dude, we have to get them. Talk about stuck-ups. I can see it now! ‘Moldy and Snippit with red faces and embaraced to the limit…’ but what should we do to them?” said Sirius.
“OK, you guys have to stop this ‘dude’ stuff, it is driving me insane.” Said Lupin.
“Why do we want to start war this early at school? What if we are expelled…” squeaked Peter.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got some connections. We’ll have it figured out in no time!” said James.

They got off of the trains, yadda yadda Gryffindor yadda, and sat in the common room that night.
“I say we catch them in surprise. Any other ideas?” asked Sirius. “And J, what about your so called ‘connections’, how are they coming along?”
“Perfectly! Allow me to introduce Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley, Heads of Weasley and Weasley joke shop in Rubingham, a small city in France, you know how hard it is to run a business undercover. You see, they are twins, pranksters, and 6th years here. They specialize in magical embarrassments, and run the business from here without their parents knowing about it! Their dad knows mine from work, and so we’ve known each other for a while. They have agreed to help us out since they found out we were in Hogwarts this year and could be potential ‘big buyers’ when we grow up!” With that, two tall red-headed, freckle faced boys came in with smiles on their faces.
“Good afternoon, gentilmen! Now, we have brought many samples of our best items, so I encourage you to have a look!” After all had seen the demo, they thanked the Mr. Weasleys and went to bed, dreaming of how they could get back at Snippit and Moldy.



Author's Note- Is it funny? Do you like it? Tell all in your review! I can't wait to read them!

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