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HP stories following Canon after HBP >> Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills by Weeze

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1 - To Be A Man.



Stepping away from the Hogwarts Express with what felt like a lead weight in his stomach and a heart just as heavy, Harry Potter gazed fondly at the scarlet train that had provided him with friends and a life to live for over the past six years.

Tearing his eyes away, he stepped through the magical brick barrier from platform 9 ¾, onto the ordinary platform of King’s Cross Station. The atmosphere around him was thick with tension. His deep emerald green eyes wandered around his surroundings; taking in the numerous bodyguards he had, Harry Potter felt a twinge of guilt stab his insides rather uncomfortably. These people were putting themselves in danger for him. This wasn’t what he wanted. Why would these people put their lives on the line for someone as thick as him? For someone who had been the cause of far too many deaths in his short life and would undoubtedly continue to be the cause of many more in the next few months, and that was if he could even vanquish Voldemort at all.

Staring resolutely at his scuffed and battered shoes, he dared not lift his head to witness the expressions on faces when they saw him. He knew he looked a mess, but until he had sorted things out with the world, he could not bring himself to care too much about himself. He kept away from his friends, feigning nonchalance as they followed him through the barrier, Hermione holding tightly to Ron’s hand as he pulled her across the platform to where their families stood waiting, ready to console the bereaved pair. Raising his eyes slowly, he ignored the familiar inquisitive gazes of Moody, Lupin and Tonks and instead, found himself staring into the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever known.

“Harry.” Ginny greeted, her eyes never leaving his, much to his consternation, he could never refuse those eyes.

“Ginny.” He answered, not knowing what else to say at that time. Sparing a glance over her shoulder he found the inquisitive eyes of Molly Weasley watching them like a hawk. He realised with a jolt that Mrs Weasley probably didn’t know they’d been dating for the past few weeks, or she’d be looking a lot angrier if she knew he’d been stupid enough to dump her youngest.

“Can we talk?” Ginny asked nervously, bringing him back to the conversation and taking his hand in her own, leading him a few paces towards the irate faces of the Dursleys. Not letting go of Harry’s hand, Ginny frowned, her prepared speech immediately forgotten the second she gazed into his emerald green eyes.

Shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts, she giggled unexpectedly.

“This is hard.” Harry muttered, pulling his recently retrieved invisibility cloak out of his pocket and swinging it over their heads to shield them from the inquisitive and unpleasant glares from everyone around them.

“You’re telling me.” Ginny grumbled, “All I want to do is curl up in your arms and stay there forever.”

“Don’t you think that’s what I want as well?” Harry whispered furiously, glancing around to watch everyone stare at the spot where they had disappeared.

“No.” Ginny replied heavily. “What you want is to get rid of Voldemort for good. Then you’ll finally allow yourself to grieve for everyone, and maybe then you’ll think about letting me love you.”

“I, wait, you love me?” Harry repeated instantly, he was dumbfounded to say the least. Nobody he knew had ever said those three simple words to him in all of his life and actually meant it like he knew she did.

“Of course I do.” Ginny answered, her fingers tightening around his, “But it’s okay if you don’t feel that way. I know it’s sudden and we’re- you’re-"

“No.” Harry silenced her with his lips, pressing gently against her own, softly demanding entrance. “I love you.” He murmured between kisses, pulling away to look into her eyes. “I’ve loved you for so long. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

“Harry listen,” Ginny began, her eyes sparkling with defiance. “You can’t lose me. The only reason we’re not together right now is because you’re scared. You’re letting Voldemort dictate your life even now after you vowed to do things your own way. You’re holding back from me using the excuse of my safety, well stop it! I’m in danger every single day of this war. I’m a Weasley for goodness sake! I’m not safe anywhere. Not because of you, but because I’m on the side of good. I might be a pure blood, but everyone knows we’re a bunch of blood traitors! We’ll never join an evil dark wizard, and I don’t intend to be on that side any more than you do. But you’ve got to understand. He’s not killing people because they know you. He’s killing people because they don’t agree with him. He’s evil Harry. You’re not. You can beat him, but you need to let us help you. We can do it together, we’re stronger that way. Don’t you see? Even the sorting hat told us we need to stick together. It’s the only way to win.”

“She’s right laddie.” Moody growled, from where he stood only a foot away, his magical eye swivelling towards them and seeing straight through the invisibility cloak much to Harry’s frustration, the distraction had temporarily made him forget Moody would be able to see them.

“Do you mind?” Harry asked curtly, scowling in his direction before turning back to Ginny and capturing her soft lips with his own once more.

“Not at all,” came the reply that failed to register in Harry’s mind as Moody pulled the cloak away from the young lovers, exposing their passionate kiss and obviously rekindled relationship for everyone on the platform to see.

Pulling back from Harry, Ginny grinned at the friends and family that surrounded them, their faces a mixture of disbelief, wonder and anger. Wincing at her mother’s expression, Ginny turned to see Bill, Charlie, Fred and George with murderous looks in their eyes, directed at the-boy-who-dared-touch-their-baby-sister. Smirking at them, she pulled Harry close for a brief kiss then sent him on his way to the Dursleys to escape the confrontation she knew to expect. The cheering from Fred and George however was completely unexpected and she glanced back to see Harry blushing beetroot as he walked backwards towards his relatives.

Watching Ginny accept her fate, Harry stood next to the Dursleys, waiting for them to come to their senses. Apparently watching him snog Ginny had short circuited their brains. Either that or someone had petrified them where they stood.

Observing his guard make their way towards him he stifled a smile and turned to watch the Weasley’s crowd around the youngest of their brood, demanding answers to their questions. Seeing Ginny roll her eyes and hold her own against her elder brothers, Harry smiled. She really did have more strength than he gave her credit for. He just hoped that she would listen to reason when the time came. Turning his attention back to the members of the Order that he knew, he watched Moody limp closer, swiftly followed by Lupin and Tonks, holding hands as they were so often spotted doing lately. The arrival of the Aurors seemed to shake Harry’s relatives out of their stupor, and they began to try to hustle him away from the platform.

“Wotcher.” Tonks greeted, sticking her hand out to shake hands with Vernon Dursley, before thinking better of it and waving slightly instead. “Just a few words this time.” She spoke slowly and cheerfully as if they were especially stupid.

“We hear he’s being mistreated and we’ll be round faster than you can say magic wand.” Lupin informed them, stepping back for the Dursleys to get another good look at Mad-Eye Moody. It had done the trick last year and it certainly seemed to work again when Uncle Vernon jumped backwards, his moustache bristling as he ordered his family away, leaving Harry to wave goodbye and follow them to the car for the last time.

This would be the last time he would ever have to go back to Privet Drive with his relatives. In just a few short weeks he would be of age and perfectly legal to turn them into toads or something just as delightful. Unfortunately this coming of age also signified the ending of the protective wards that Dumbledore had assisted in placing around his summer residence using the blood that ran through his veins which coincidentally, was the same blood that had flowed in his mother’s veins and through the body of one Petunia Dursley.

Forcing himself to consider this instead of focusing on the wizard responsible for the protective wards, he found himself oddly uncaring about what the next few weeks would bring. She was after all, family, what could she possibly do to make this summer any worse than the ones he had been subjected to for all of his childhood? Hedwig would bring him food from his friends and every day he grew closer to becoming a legal adult wizard. This summer should be the easiest of the lot in terms of what the Dursley’s could do to him.

The journey back to Surrey was uneventful to say the least. Harry felt like screaming aloud to just make everyone go back to hating him, maybe mentioning something magical to get shouted at, anything to break the fearful silence. The constant fear that surrounded him everywhere he went was bearable when it was just the kids at school. But the Dursleys had never feared him before. It was unnerving; especially Uncle Vernon’s maintained silence.

“That old bloke said this was your last time here didn’t he?” Dudley asked, swivelling his fat neck in Harry’s direction. “When’s he coming to get you?”

A cold shiver ran down Harry’s spine at the casual mention of the former headmaster. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he finally looked up to meet his cousin’s gaze.

“He’s not.”

“Too busy for someone like you?” Dudley sneered; watching Harry carefully as the raven haired teen fingered his wand longingly, keeping it in his pocket lest he accidentally used it on Dudley.

“No.” He replied quietly. “He was murdered last week.” He looked up, considering Dudley’s shocked expression, “By my teacher, right in front of me. So he won’t be coming to get me. I’ll probably be going to him.”

Shutting up, Harry turned himself away, watching out of the window as the last of the motorway sped by and they approached the familiar suburbs of Surrey. He wasn’t sure why he’d just told Dudley all that, even if the terror on his face had been worth it. It might even keep Dudley away from him all July if he thought Harry was likely to be murdered as well. Or he might just be the usual Dudley and use it to taunt him mercilessly until he was of age and able to respond in kind. But none the less, it had broken the silence for a short while. As the company car pulled up on the driveway he smiled grimly, either way, he had things to do and plan before he escaped his relative’s house and time spent being Diddykins’ victim was an extreme waste of valuable time, time that could eventually save the Wizarding World from the evil clutches of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

*

The weeks at Privet Drive seemed to fly by for the first time in history. He wrote to Ginny every day, asking her to be his girlfriend again and apologising for his stupidity first of all, but she forgave him pretty much instantly and wrote to him daily, keeping him company as he lay in his room for hours on end, avoiding the rest of the world as it seemed. Ron and Hermione wrote to him most days as well, he was keen to keep them informed of his progress on his project and they kept him informed of goings on at the Burrow in preparation for Bill’s wedding as well as what was happening in the Wizarding World, although the codes they had developed were slightly confusing and took a while to remember every time Harry received a letter. Molly Weasley had apparently taken to persuading Ginny not to date him, at least until the war was over, but quite unsuccessfully he was glad to note. Ginny’s letters had quickly become detailed accounts of what her mother and brothers had been doing and saying to try and make her reconsider their relationship and her safety and while Harry could appreciate that they were only looking out for the baby of their family, he wished people would just leave them alone.

He had honestly tried to protect her until she had quickly opened his eyes to the danger she was in, along with the rest of the Wizarding world. It was Ginny who had reminded him that the war was going on for eleven years before his parent were murdered and therefore, Voldemort must have had plans before Harry and the prophecy came along and he would still be trying to carry out those plans and take over the world whether Harry was alive or not. His parents had grown up, fallen in love and had him, despite the war raging around their ears, they had even joined the Order of the Phoenix whilst preparing for his birth. If they could live their lives, then so could he, and all that took, was Ginny. He had realised this when looking through the photo album Hagrid had given him. The first war had started well before Harry was born and the prophecy was made and Voldemort had killed people when he was just 16, himself. It might be up to him to stop Voldemort, but it was Ron, Hermione and Ginny who would see him through it all, helping him in anyway they could to stop the Death Eaters and their Lord. It was this realisation that made Harry resolute that he had to live and fight to stop the evil Voldemort was determined to spread and Ginny Weasley was definitely something to live for. He couldn’t wait to see her again as soon as he turned seventeen, before he went to his parent’s house and on to defeat Voldemort and his stupid Death Eaters. He would live and he would return to Ginny. If he succeeded in his mission within the year, maybe he could take his seventh year with Ginny at Hogwarts and then go on to be an Auror. But to succeed, he needed to get himself organised and destroy the Horcruxes Voldemort had made before killing Tom Riddle as well.

His homework assignments lay at the bottom of his trunk, untouched as he had no intention of going back to Hogwarts in September. Instead he had used his spare parchment to plan out meticulously every detail he could think of concerning the Horcruxes. He was determined to find them and destroy them before he met Voldemort for hopefully, the last time ever. This was one project he could not afford to procrastinate with. He had determined what they were, or were likely to be and the places Dumbledore had shown him in the pensieve were also noted, along with notable murders that he knew Voldemort had committed. It was still mostly guess work though, until he could meet up with his friends and put together the final plan.

It was, at long last, to be his seventeenth birthday tomorrow and he would finally be free. Having received a letter with Hedwig from Remus Lupin this morning requesting his presence in the house that Sirius had left him, and he had hurriedly packed up everything he owned after reading the letter. After meeting Moony in Grimmauld Place, he would stop by the Burrow for Bill’s wedding and stay for a day or two, and then on to Godric’s Hollow to begin his quest, although he wasn’t sure who would be with him, and exactly when they’d sneak away.

Frowning at his trunk, bulging where he had crammed extra clothes into it, he couldn’t remember the charms Hermione had taught him to shrink the trunk to pocket size. This meant unpacking it to find the book he needed. He needed to do this tonight as he was planning to leave tomorrow after breakfast in time to meet Lupin.

Idly wondering what the meeting was about, he dug through his trunk, pulling out the battered textbook he had been searching for. Finding the correct incantation, he crammed everything back in to the trunk, using the incantation to shrink his Firebolt and slamming the lid, looking around for any forgotten belongings. He had already emptied his hiding places for food and letters. He was ready.
He checked the clock, making sure it was midnight before whispering the incantation, waving his wand slightly and shoving the tiny trunk into the pocket of the jeans he intended to wear tomorrow. He could leave his pyjamas here, they were Dudley’s cast-offs anyway. Hedwig was out at the moment, at the Burrow, so he repeated the incantation on her cage and shoved that in as well.
He was all set for finally escaping his prison once and for all; leaving behind the protection his mother had given her life for. He was determined to destroy Voldemort once and for all now, to finally begin to repay the world for all the evil that had happened since his mother’s sacrifice. Since that night in the graveyard when He had returned.

Throwing himself on the bed, he slid his wand under his pillow, a mournful sigh escaped him and he pulled his pillow over his face to silence himself, pressing it firmly on his scar to try to relieve the pain it was causing him. Firmly focusing his mind on Ginny, he slipped into a restful sleep, dreams of black and red haired children distracting him from the atrocities being committed in the dead of the night.

*

Upon being woken in the morning by Aunt Petunia shouting up the stairs, demanding he cooked them breakfast, Harry simply smiled and rolled over for more sleep. He didn’t have to be in Grimmauld Place until eleven and it was still only seven, even if it was his birthday. What could the Dursleys do now that he was a legal adult wizard? Scold him? Attempt to punish him? He could just slip on his invisibility cloak and pretend he wasn’t there, but unfortunately it was on the other side of the room and he couldn’t be bothered to go and fetch it. Aunt Petunia obviously didn’t know or care that he had come of age and was now allowed to do magic when she came barging into his room, shaking him violently to get him out of bed. An idly muttered ‘silencio’ shut her up so he could get more sleep. This was apparently a bad idea he surmised when Uncle Vernon came crashing into the room, yelling about ungrateful freaks, a miming Aunt Petunia behind him, gesturing wildly at her silent mouth while his uncle seized him by the arm and immediately stepped back in horror when Harry’s arm burned hotter than normally physically possible.
Lifting the silencing spell begrudgingly, Harry sat up in bed summoning his clothes to him earning him filthy glares that he couldn’t help but return. Dressing as soon as his relatives had left the room muttering about seeing the back of him he realised with a thin smile they did know it was his birthday. They just didn’t care. He smiled again and patted his pockets to make sure he had his cloak, trunk, cage and wand before he set off for the kitchen.

“I’m leaving.” He announced, to open mouths full of bacon and eggs and red, flustered faces. “I’d say thank you, but I wouldn’t mean it as much as I’d like to, so I’ll just say goodbye, sorry for imposing on you for so long and leave you to it.” He smiled, checking he had his things and making sure his wand was safely in his back pocket before concentrating on Grimmauld Place and Disapparating from Surrey to London with a barely audible pop.

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