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HP stories following Canon after HBP >> Well......Maybe by irish_ginny

Simple Text - To view MORE chapters use the chapter jump box to the right.
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Chapter 1: Scattered Thoughts

Harry rolled over in his blankets, sleep still far away. He knew he had no chance of sleep claiming him when his mind was still so full with thoughts, worries, hope and grief.

School term had ended earlier than normal that year so he was back in his old bed at the Dursley’s. It had been nearly two months since Dumbledore’s funeral, yet Harry hadn’t spoken to anyone since. It hadn’t hit him, even now that he was all only to think about it, that he would never again get the chance to speak to his old Headmaster, to ask for his advice, even just to see smile at the school from the staff table. He was gone forever and Harry wasn’t sure he could do this without him. Throughout his sixth year at Hogwarts he came to terms with the prophecy and what it contained and he felt ready to face it. Well he had felt ready to face it. Dumbledore had explained to him how Voldemort had created Horcruxes as a plan to stay alive, and how some of them had been destroyed. This had unsettled Harry for a long time thinking how he would be able to defeat Voldemort when he had to destroy different pieces of him before hand, but he was ready to do whatever he had to to succeed. He thought that Dumbledore would always be there for him, to help him and guide him, but that was no longer the case. He was alone now and that was the way he wanted it. Yes of course he still wanted his friends to be with him as they had always been but he didn’t want to risk loosing either of them or anyone else for that matter. He didn’t know how he could cope if he had to try go on if something happened to Ron, or Hermione, or….Ginny.

Ginny. That name brought a sharp pang to Harry’s heart. He tried to think of something, anything, whenever her face entered his mind but he couldn’t keep it away. He knew the dangers he was putting her in by just associating with her. That was why he had pushed her away at Dumbledore’s funeral and explained how she was in danger and that he had to do this alone. He knew he had hurt her deep when he did this, he could see it in her face despite how brave and strong she was trying to be. He had hurt himself too, more so than even he could understand. She had been the only one who ever really cared about him. Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Dumbeldore and the Weasleys all cared about him yes, but this was a different feeling, the feeling of being cared for unconditionally. Everything he thought about always came back to her in the end. When he thought of Dumbledore he remembered how she had held onto him tightly during the ceremony. When he remembered the battle in the castle he remembered how well she had done against her death eater. Even when he thought of Voldemort and the Horcruxes he thought of how he had hurt her and how he had to leave her, perhaps never to return.

He sat up as that thought came to mind. Whenever his thoughts strayed to his final confrontation with Voldemort, no matter how much he tried to stop them, he always came across the idea that he may not survive it. He shook himself and told himself not to think about things like that. There was no point dwelling on things like that when they haven’t happened. But still the thought haunted him.

He lay back down in his bed and sighed. Not one night had passed since he came home were he didn’t lie awake to all hours of the night thinking of everything that had happened and things that were still to come. He tried to think of happier things and remembered how he was leaving for the Burrow the next day, his birthday. He had mixed feelings about doing this. He would of course be happy to see his friends again, and the Weasleys, and he even longed for another glance at Ginny. He had no idea how he was going to get through the next few weeks in the same house as Ginny when he had told her he could have nothing to do with her. The wedding would be a week after he arrived and he would be leaving a week after that, although no one knew that yet. He was still set on going to Godric’s Hollow before the year began, but he was still uncertain whether or not he was going to return for his final year at Hogwarts. He didn’t want to waste any time in tracking down the Horcruxes and Voldemort, but he wasn’t sure if he could just up and leave all of a sudden and leave behind a life and people he had grown to love. Hogwarts definitely wasn’t going to be the same as it had always been for him. There would be no Dumbledore smiling at him or meetings in his office over something he had done, no Malfoy taunting him everyday, no Snape to make Potions a living hell for him……

The thought of his old potions master sparked a flame of anger inside him. He thought again of that night in the tower and those two fatal words coming from his former teacher. No matter how much he thought about it he still couldn’t believe that Snape had killed him, actually killed Dumbledore. Hadn’t he always been told by people that Snape was a good guy? Hadn’t Dumbledore always insisted that Snape had turned on Voldemort before him downfall and was a spy? Wasn’t he told numerous times that he should trust Snape? Yet when Harry was finally starting to see something in the teacher he had always loathed he went and did the most unforgivable thing imaginable; he had gone and killed the one person who trusted and believed in him, the man who gave him a job in his school and a place in the Order, who placed him above many others and told him highly important information, and the only wizard that Voldemort had ever feared. He had removed the only thing that was stopping Voldemort from releasing his full power and strength on an unsuspecting world.

Harry turned over with an angry sigh and tried desperately to rid his head of these disturbing thoughts. He wanted desperately to forget everything that had happened and get his life back to normal, or as normal as it used to be. But he knew he couldn’t do that. There was no one else who could do this. He was the one who was chosen and he was the one who had to carry the burden. That thought didn’t settle him any but he was starting to fully except his destiny. Or at least he was trying.

He looked at his clock and saw it read 1:00 am. That meant it was already his birthday. He was so preoccupied with his thoughts he had over looked the fact that he had already been seventeen for an hour. Usually he would sit up the night before his birthday and count down the minutes to his birthday and await the owls that flew through his window with presents. But nothing of the sort happened tonight. Since he was going to the Burrow the next day he assumed that he would receive his presents from his friends there. A thought hit Harry just then and he smiled for the first time in a long time; he was now of age in the wizarding world and was free to use magic whenever he pleased. Later that morning would be the last he would ever have to see of Privet Drive. Despite the other thoughts he had had that night, these ones presented just a little flicker of happiness. But as the faces of Dumbledore, Sirius, Voldemort and Ginny once again swam through his mind that small flicker of light was instantly plunged into darkness again.

Little did he know that there was someone else far away who was also lying awake in her bed, much the same thoughts streaming through her mind as she too tried to figure out what she was going to do.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ginny Weasley sat down on the sill of her window with a sigh. It was the middle of the night but sleep was far from Ginny’s mind. She hadn’t slept properly in the two months since she had come home from school.

There was so much going on in the world and she had gotten into nearly a habit of sitting up late at night to brood over it all.

She knew that this was only the beginning, there was much more still to happen before it was all over. The wizarding world was at war and it was only a matter of time before it tore everyone apart.

It was already tearing Ginny to pieces. The death of Dumbledore had effected every magical person in the world, good or evil. She couldn’t imagine what it was going to be like going back to school without the wise and powerful headmaster to watch over them. That was if the school reopened next term. There had been much discussion as to whether the school should open at all the next year with everything happening and it was still undecided what was to be done. Even if the school did open it wouldn’t be that same as it used to be. There would be no usual strange welcoming speech from Dumbledore, no Malfoy to insult her every step, no weekly torture from Snape during Potions, everything would be different. Her blood boiled in anger as she thought of the recent potions master and how he cold bloodedly killed the greatest wizard who ever lived.

But these were only a few of the million thoughts that clouded Ginny’s mind. The ones that appeared most though were of a teenager with messy black hair, striking green eyes, round glasses and a lightening bolt shaped scar across his forehead.

Ginny sighed heavily as for the hundredth time that summer her thoughts strayed to Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One. But those title meant little to her. To her he was Harry, just Harry. Except that he was so much more.

She thought back to the first time she saw him; that day at Kings Cross Station, on his way to his first year at Hogwarts. At the time she didn’t know who he was but as soon as she learnt she became infatuated with the Boy Who Lived, the boy famous for something he could neither remember nor understand.

She remembered every time she saw him from then on, the image of him branded forever in her mind. At the beginning it had been nothing more than a crush on a famous face, but as the years past and she began to know the person behind the scar and fame she felt that feeling grow and deepen in to something much, much more. Sometimes she even thought she might be in love with him. But she couldn’t, could she? She thought of the day they won the Quidditch Cup and during the celebration he had kissed her for the first time. She couldn’t remember another moment in time were she felt so happy and light and carefree. She smiled as images of the past year flashed through her mind.

But that happiness came to an end as, once more, the image of Dumbledore’s funeral came back to her. That thought made her want to scream in frustration and cry with desperation and sadness at the same time.

She had always known Harry was special, singled out from everyone. He always had been, throughout his entire life. She knew, and now for certain, that he was the one who would finally defeat Voldemort for good and bring the world back together again. But in doing so Harry was pushing people away who cared for him as he had always done, afraid they would get hurt because of him. Ginny though couldn’t understand how he couldn’t see that they were trying to help him. Yes people he cared for in his life had died, but why couldn’t Harry see that they died for him, not because of him.

Her heart twisted in pain and fear as she recalled how he told her he had to leave her, to go off and fight Voldemort. He told her that by being with him she was in danger of being hurt and used to get to him. But she couldn’t imagine that someone could cause her more pain than she was already in. Broken hearts are never east to heal, especially when you don’t want them to be healed because you still want that connection no matter how much it hurts.

A silent tear fell down her cheek and onto her pale blue pyjama top. She wiped the other on coming tears before they could fall properly. This happened every night that she sat up thinking of Harry. The pain that resided in her since he told her she had to leave him mixed with the worry of what was going to happen to him always brought her to tears. But even as she wiped them away more sparkled in her eyes. This was terribly out of character for Ginny. She always was a strong person who could stand up to other people and fight. But things were becoming too much for her to cope with. Adding to the grief of Dumbledore’s passing, and the pain and worry over Harry, the war was getting bigger with more attacks happening. Everyday in the newspapers there was more news of new attacks. Ginny had more fear grip her as she thought about what might happen to her family. With most of them in the Order, their reputation as blood traitors and there known alliance with Dumbledore and Harry it would be a miracle if they all made it through this.

She shook her head and turned her gaze skyward trying to shake off the horrible feelings gripping her. The stars shone beautiful and bright in the dark sky causing Ginny to smile slightly as she remembered the time she and Harry lay out under the stars.

Suddenly, as if something jerking her memory, she looked at her watch. 2:00am. 2 o’clock, that meant it was July 31st already. And July 31st was…

“Harry’s seventeenth birthday,” Ginny whispered quietly.

That meant that in a few hours her father, brothers and Order members would be going to collect Harry and bring him here to spend the rest of the summer. Her heart skipped a beat at this thinking what would happen when he saw her. Would he talk to her like nothing had happened? Or would he ignore her completely?

She walked over to her bed and climbed silently in, waiting for sleep to claim her. Despite the nerves in her stomach about seeing Harry for the first time since Dumbledore’s funeral she was also anxious to see him again to make sure he was ok, and just to see him.
*~*~*~*~*

Eventually both teens fell asleep, their minds still troubled with thoughts of the other and their meeting the next day. But whatever was to happen they just had to wait and see.


A/N: Hope you liked it! I know it's very slow and nothing happens but it will get better! Just had to get across how miserable they both are and how much they have to think about. Please review and tell me what you thought!! Thank you! = )

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