"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."  James tapped the piece of paper with his wand.  
"Blimey, It's still not working."  Peter said, rubbing his nose, frustrated.
"That's because you need to put your spell into it, genius."  Sirius said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
Peter lazily flicked his wand, causing Sirius to levitate, upside down.  Sirius yawned, not too surprised.  Peter usually did spells like that when Sirius teased him.  It was sort of stupid, but Sirius didn't really care that much.  
           "Peter!!!"   A voice echoed from the hall.  "Put him down!"  
"What? I'm not doing anything."  Peter hastily hid his wand behind his back, and as a result, Sirius came crashing down, hitting his head full on the stone floor.
               The speaker of the voice was the new prefect, Rosie Guildenstern.  She was especially close on scrutinizing the actions of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew--they had a reputation in the school as pranksters, and they had a real disregard for the rules. 
         Seeing Sirius on the floor, Rosie laughed.  "That teaches you, Sirius, to not hang around with the likes of these degenerates."
"Pardon me for saying, but I AM one of the degenerates.....whatever that word means."  Sirius scratched his head. 
"Fine.  But just know, I'm watching you."  She made a gesture with her hands to signify this.
"Girls aren't supposed to stalk guys--it's undignified."  Remus had just walked in, and said this.  Rosie stared at him.  "You are just sick."  She left in a huff.
         "Now that that little episode is over," said James, "Let's get this map to work."
All four of them bent over the parchment, murmuring incantations and waving their wands.  By the end of an hour, they had a full-fledged marauders map on their hands, which was a map of Hogwarts.  The special thing about it was that one could see everyone with their signatures above little dots on the page. 
         When they were done, James grabbed at it ravenously, but Peter took it from him first.  "I know what you're going to do, James.  My advice is, and always will be: QUIT! GIVE UP!  SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU AND SHE NEVER WILL!!!!! SO JUST FIND ANOTHER GIRL, YOU INFATUATED, BLUNDERING MUD-MUNCHER!!!!"
"He's right, mate."  Remus said.  
James could not believe what he was hearing.  "Guys, guys.  You have to believe me when I say, I think I'll get somewhere with her yet....Let me tell you this story:

FLASHBACK
James Potter took out his snitch again, playing with it.  He adjusted his glasses and saw that the light of his existence was walking coldly by, knowing that if she made eye contact, the mental boy would pounce on the chance and ask her out yet again.  So, she went over to a group of her friends, and they ended up just sitting beneath an oak tree by the lake, basking in the afternoon.  James thought of an approach entirely different; He would polyjuice himself as a different person....but who?
END FLASHBACK

"That's your plan for winning Lily?  Not be yourself?"  Sirius asked, frowning.  Then he smiled.  "That's bloody brilliant!!!"
"I know, right?"  James seemed sure of himself.
Remus pondered.  "We just have to figure out who--and it takes a month to make....."

ONE MONTH LATER

"All right, Walter McCready, you're going to be me, and I'm going to be you....got it?"  James looked uncertainly at the Hufflepuff, who looked really psyched that he was about to be in James Potter's shoes.  He would be respected and feared, and would be able to pull killer pranks--he would have a great life!  "Yeah, I'm ready.  Walter was practically jumping.  James gave him a strand of his hair, and he took some of Walter's.  "Okay, bottoms up."
          The two went into the bathroom stalls.  Peter came in.  "James--er--Walter?"
"Yeah?"  James Potter said.  
"You okay?"
"Of course I'm okay.  Walter's bits are bigger than mine though, I'm a little jealous."
"Ew....shut up--I can't be hearing this."
Walter laughed.  "Yeah, Potter, yours--"
"PLEASE!!!  I AM GOING TO VOMIT!"  Peter hit his head against the wall for emphasis.
"Sorry Pete."  James and Walter laughed.

THE NEXT DAY

James Potter's train of thought:
"Okay, all different classes--all different friends--anything for my lily pad.  I can do this.  Oh...there's the angel."

James walked up to Lily as humbly as he could.  "Hi--Lily, itsn't it?"  
Lily looked at him, flattered.  "Yes, it is."  She smiled a little.
"Would you like to go out with me?"
"Sure, I'd like that--what's your name?"
"Walter McCready...I'm from Hufflepuff....so, how about Saturday?"
"Yes, sounds great."  Lily walked away, not able to believe her luck.  She had got asked out and Potter wasn't there to screw it up!!!  Awesome!